The Balance Between Affirmations and Honest Self-Expression

Catch The PLANE & Get INSANE When I first started practicing affirmations, I was so ready to harness it's power! After all, the idea of shaping our reality with our thoughts is incredibly compelling. Affirmations are often presented as a way to manifest our desires by affirming them as already true . But after years of practice, I realized there’s a delicate balance between affirming what you want and being honest about where you are right now . Affirmations Are Not About Denial Let’s clear up a common misconception: affirmations are not about pretending everything is perfect when it’s not. The purpose of affirmations is to help you align your thoughts with your goals and aspirations. It’s about reinforcing a positive mindset that can propel you toward what you desire. However, this doesn’t mean you have to lie to yourself or others about how you feel in the moment. For instance, I’ve spent a decade working in with costumers, and I’ve reached a point where I’m completely burnt out. I’ve realized that I don’t enjoy working with people (clients) anymore. It costs me too much of my inner peace and pressures me to bend my values. Now I know it’s not where I see myself in the future. So, when someone close to me asks how my day was, I’m honest: -“It was tiring because I don’t like working with people.” And this is where it gets tricky—some people respond with, -“You’re programming yourself wrong,” or -“You’re planting negative thoughts. You need to look at this differently.” But here’s the thing: I don’t need to lie to myself. I don’t need to “program” myself into loving a situation that no longer serves me. I’m already working on changing my career path, focusing my affirmations on a future that excites me. I know I’m on the way to something better, so being honest about my current situation isn’t negative— it’s just the truth. The Difference Between Affirmation and Acceptance Here’s where many people get confused: there’s a difference between affirming a positive outcome and accepting an unpleasant situation. Affirmations are about visualizing and attracting what you want, but they shouldn’t lead to complacency. Accepting a situation for what it is doesn’t mean you’re resigning to it forever; it just means you’re recognizing reality while also setting intentions to change it. For example, let’s say you’re unhappy with your current job. You don’t need to keep repeating, “I love my job,” if it doesn’t feel true to you. Instead, you can affirm something like, “I’m attracting a career that aligns with my passions,” while also being honest with yourself and others that your current role isn’t where you want to stay long-term. Expressing Your Opinions is Healthy Another important point is that expressing your dislikes and frustrations isn’t negative or counterproductive. It’s actually a healthy way to process your emotions. Bottling up your true feelings in the name of positivity can lead to internal conflict and stress. Instead, be honest about what isn’t working for you, but frame it in a way that keeps your focus on the positive changes you’re working towards. When I tell someone that I’m tired of working with people because it’s draining, I’m not being negative— I’m being real. I know this isn’t what I want to do anymore, and that’s okay. I’m not giving up on positivity; I’m just redirecting it towards something that feels more authentic to me. Knowing What You Like and Dislike is Empowering Part of using affirmations effectively is knowing yourself—your likes, dislikes, passions, and deal-breakers. When you’re clear about what you want to change, your affirmations become more powerful because they’re aligned with your true desires. It’s like setting your internal compass to a direction that genuinely resonates with you. If you’re struggling with something, don’t be afraid to acknowledge it. You can say, “I don’t enjoy this aspect of my life, but I’m working on improving it.” This kind of honesty doesn’t negate your affirmations; it grounds them in reality while keeping your focus on the future you’re building. Affirmations are a wonderful tool for personal growth, but they shouldn’t replace honest self-reflection. The key is to use affirmations to reinforce the positive changes you want to see in your life, while also being truthful about where you currently stand. It’s this balance that allows you to grow and evolve without losing touch with your authentic self. So, next time you’re working with affirmations, remember that it’s okay to acknowledge your current struggles. Express your opinions, be clear about what you want to change, and then use your affirmations to propel you toward the life you desire. I encourage you to check out my e-book "Fake It Until You Make it" , where I speak more about using affirmations and visualization to get what you want in life. Let me know in the comment - do you practice affirmation?